


can't ignore it if it's love

by inspectorwired



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Humor, M/M, background victuri, mila and yurio are brotp, third person and milas pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-06 11:23:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8748637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inspectorwired/pseuds/inspectorwired
Summary: Damn it, she really fell hard.





	1. Chapter 1

The first time Mila sees her, it's minutes from falling. 

The ice is cold and her choreography absolutely ruthless, and she almost sprains her ankle trying to pull off three consecutive loops during practice just before the competition. She doesn't even know why she does it; she's feeling restless and just has to try.

The competition is starting soon, and she is already feeling grumpy and incompetent, sitting on the bench, a part of her mind considering ironic that the treatment for her ankle had to be more ice, with Yakov yelling at her for disregarding just about everything that he's told her to do. She does her best to roll her eyes and ignore him, though she knows her coach is right.

"Hi! I'm Sara", someone says at that moment, perfectly choosing to cut in Yakov's monologue, just after he makes a pause to take a breath, getting started for a round two of "Are you insane? What were you even thinking"s.

Mila doesn't have to turn around to know who the voice belongs to. The pretty girl was going around, trying to get to know everyone, since the moment they arrived. She turns to look at her and tries to smile politely; she is in a really bad mood, but there's no need to be rude.

"I'm Mila."

Sara throws a "Nice to meet you" her way, compliments her hair, gives Mila's hand a friendly squeeze with both her hands and shakes for way longer than anyone else would, then hops away to talk to other competitors some more.

Some guy is standing a few inches behind Sara and scowling the whole time, and Mila doesn't notice or care about him at first. Maybe he's her boyfriend? "No, they look really alike... Her brother, then?", she thinks, registering Yakov going at it again, red-faced, somewhere in the back of her mind. They're really close for siblings.

She follows the girl with her gaze for some time, without really knowing why. There's something that just itches, that she can't quite explain. It's stupid to think about it like that, since that's obviously just how Sara is, but something about her seems fake, even her greeting; it made it feel like the two of them were the only people in the world at that moment. She seemed so sincere, so interested for her and her alone.

They talk a few times again after that, and Sara never stops the compliments, light touches and hand brushing, smiling widely, not taking her eyes off Mila for a second.

Mila hates it. She knows girls like that, and they always mean trouble. 

Sara makes her nervous. She makes it seem like she cares while talking to people, whoever they are; honest and warm and so genuine. She makes you want her to win.

 

When it's finally her turn, Mila stands straight as an arrow in her costume, and waits for the announcer to say her name. The air is chilly and the blades thump against the rubber with her steps while she walks to the rink. Yakov nods at her, and she can see some of the other girls who haven't skated yet, waiting behind. Sara is with them, and when she catches her glance, she waves and mouths a "Good luck". Mila looks away and pushes herself forward, to the rinks center, nervous with anticipation.

She skates restlessly, like never before, coming in third. It's like the performance is over with a bang, in an instant - she doesn't remember most of it, hardly registering it all being finished; suddenly standing still again, her ears ringing, girls in tutus collecting flowers being thrown at her from all sides of the audience.

Looking at the scores, she is sweaty, happy and exhausted, but despite it, full of a strange kind of energy that makes her want to run around for at least an eternity or so, and never stand still.

Walking around with a big grin on her face, she sees Sara in another corner of the room, surrounded by flowers, with her brother hugging her in a very unbrotherly way. Sara ranked fourth, one place behind her; Mila thinks about saying something, but stops herself before she does it. 

Sara is laughing and cheering loudly in Italian, her fists in the air, and she is shining more brightly than any of the reflectors catching light on the pieces of glitter sprinkled all over her hair and costume, that look like a thousand tiny stars. Mila forces herself to look away; the girl didn't even get one of the first places, why is she this happy? "She'd be happy regardless of if she won", she thinks, and the thought shouldn't be as endearing as it is.

She hears quick steps tapping towards her when she's halfway down the hallway, and all of a sudden, there's a soft and warm cushion throwing itself against her back, practically making her fall over, smelling like peppermint chewing gum and flowery perfume.

"Didn't catch you to say congrats!", she hears Sara's cheer, thick-accented, her breath brushing Mila just under the ear, sending shivers down her spine. "You were so amazing."

Mila turns around to hug her back and smiles. "You were too, you know."

Only a second, and she's running back to her friends. Mila takes a deep breath and continues to walk down the long hotel carpet.

She just sticks with you, Mila thinks, whether you want to let her or not; and she isn't even sure which one is it, in her case. The competition is over, so Mila knows the hiccups in her heart have nothing to do with being nervous; she feels like swearing loudly, or giggling even louder, or both.

Damn it, she really fell hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the title is from 'accidentally in love' because im cheesy like that.  
> come yell/shitpost with me, im inspectorwired on tumblr


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im calling russian yuri yurio to avoid confusion btw!

"Triple axel is homophobic", she exclaims after failing to do it properly for the fourth time in a row. Yakov was right, she really is too tired right now. She shouldn't force herself... It's so tempting though. She hates being told she can't do something.

"What the fuck", Yurio snorts.

"Well it's inconveniencing me.", she says, matter-of-factly.

He scowls. "I know the stupid meme. If you're an old hag and know it, there's no way I wouldn't - hey, stop it! Put me down, баба!"

"Hahah, no"

She still lets him out of her grip eventually; he plops on the floor with no effort and more grace than any girl she knows.

"I'm just saying. Try to be quiet about it, what the hell. It's like you don't know how some people are like."

"I know." She shrugs. "I just don't care. No one's gonna hurt me here, they're not dumb enough to try."

"Yeah, you have a death wish."

"...I mean I'd die happy if I got to make out with that Italian chick so." She laughs at the disgusted face that Yurio makes in response. "I'm just joking, chill."

"So it wasn't enough dating a girl after breaking up with that douche and letting him find out, now you wanna get yourself killed by crushing on competition?" He looks angry rather than concerned, but then again, Yurio always tries looking angry.

"Yeah yeah, shut your mouth she's gorgeous I don't give a shit", she waves her hand like she wants to swipe the remark off her thoughts, but she knows he's right.

"Just. Be careful, okay", Yurio says, fixing his gaze to the rink on his left. "Don't get killed for real. Stupid.'

She smiles.

He's so fragile under her arms; it's surprising every time when she flings her arms around his small frame. Sometimes she tends to forget he's just a kid.

"I'm careful, don't worry.", she tries reassuring. "I do try to be discreet and stuff. It's just, ugh. She's so beautiful, it's not even funny. I feel like Viktor." She thinks about it, reconsidering. "No, wait, scratch that, no one's worse than that guy. Practically has rainbows coming out his ass whenever he's with the Japanese boy"

Yurio snorts. "Tell me about it. They're disgusting"

"One time, that other Yuri came up to greet me with a "Здравствуйте, Mила-сан" she says, "and Vitya started fanboying so hard; kissed his nose and kept telling him how cute he sounded. They're so embarrassing. And I cant even get angry, when they're this happy."

"I had to Live with them", Yurio reminds her, shuddering. Mila's laughter comes with ugly snorts and she can't stop, her shoulders shaking while he continues. "In the same house. With the fucking. Lip touching and gross innuendos and "helping him stretch"; do you have any idea-"

"You poor thing", she utters through her giggles. "I feel so sorry for you right now"

They sit there some more, near the edge of the rink, laughter dying out, Mila still with her hands hooked around Yurio's shoulders. He doesn't say anything about minding it, and she knows he doesn't. At one point, she blinks out of her thoughts and turns to him again.

"Oh, also", she smiles and squeezes him tighter. "Thanks for worrying for me, kitty. You're really nice, even when you try to act like a little shit"

"Fuck you don't call me that"

"Meow"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, yuri added 'san' to milas name when greeting her in russian before he could stop himself. his accent is horrible and viktor loves it


	3. Chapter 3

"Don't touch me"

She doesn't have to say it out loud, but you can feel the plea; in her shaking shoulders, on the pretty face, wet from tears, hidden by her hands, showing between her trembling fingertips. Even now, she's beautiful, Mila thinks.

As Sara holds back another choke, getting up and running out of the hall in between the amazed audience and cheering fans, Mila, watching after her, feels a strange pang in her chest; like she's looking at a beautiful vase, moments after breaking, light reflecting hundreds of its tiny glass pieces. It hurts to watch, even if it shouldn't. She wants to put it back together again, no matter if she shouldn't want to. She isn't even sure if some of the pieces are her own.

When Sara feels, all of it shows; it's out there and in the open, whatever she might do to hide it. And she makes it feel personal, all of it, whatever You might do to prevent that; makes you want to hold it close to your heart, like it's yours.

 

 

"There you are", she says, matter-of-factly, after finding Sara in one of the far-off, empty hotel corridors, sitting in a near-fetus position with her back against the wall and arms over her knees, holding them close to her body.

Sara doesn't say anything, and Mila sits down next to her, legs crossed. "Are you okay?"

She is still silent, and Mila doesn't want to push her. She's starting to get anxious, wondering why she even sought out the girl. You don't just go up to someone crying and start bothering them; what the hell was she even thinking? She always does this, just does things without thinking about consequences, usually having said consequences slap her on the face moments later. Stupid.

"I may have done something horrible", Sara says after some time, trying to calm herself. "and what's worse, I'm not even sure that I am sorry."

She fumbles with her jacket pocket, then takes out a paper tissue and blows strongly into it.

"Such a big attention sponge, I've always been." She hiccups. "Since we were kids, I loved to be in the center of everything. So his attention was just as good as anyone's, I guess, even better, because I do love him, so, so much. But... not.. it's just not... and I don't want to lose him over it, I...."

Her speech crumbling completely, Sara lets her shoulders shake without speaking, and Mila wants to hug her so bad; the unspoken "don't touch me" still hanging in the air above them, somewhere close to where they sit, preventing her from doing anything. She looks at the spaces between Sara's fingers, that she doesn't dare touch, and curls her hands inside each other.

"I've never... liked any of the boys that came up to me. And I didn't like what he was doing either, but it was nice to feel important. I never cared about any of them, but he did. He wanted me all to himself and I knew that. And it made me feel like such a bitch, to be using him constantly like that", she says.

"You don't owe him anything, you know", Mila says, after a few moments of silence.

"I know, I don't, it's just..." She takes a long, shaky breath before she continues. "I guess a part of me liked it to have him close to me at all times. He made it impossible for me to be feel afraid. And I didn't have to think about change. But now it's all over, and it hurts."

Mila sighs. "I don't think its a bad thing that you told him how you feel. That's only fair, isn't it? And, I mean. It's complicated and weird, and kind of messed up, true, but I don't know a single relationship that isn't, so."

Sara gives her a watery smile.

"Look at this; I'm so pathetic. You're younger than me by few years and you're still comforting me like this. You don't even know the half of my situation, and still.."

"I don't have to; I know that you're not a bad person. And you're not selfish for saying what you want.", she shrugs. She wonders if she sounds a bit harsh, but she is really bad at this sort of talks. "Say what you mean" her main motto at all times, and it's hard; she wants to be more gentle with her words, but something stops her whenever she tries. Sara doesn't seem to mind, though.

"Thanks, Mila. You're really too nice."

And then the other girl scoots closer to Mila, leans in, and Mila stops noticing things like the cold floor and the cheers far away; her cheek is wet with tears and sticky with Saras lipstick. 

Then that moment is gone; she pulls away, and Mila is sure you can't make a difference between her hair and face, just red all over. She tries saying something, but what comes out is a really weird "Nmh" that she hopes Sara doesn't hear.

Managing to smile, she throws her arm around Sara's shoulders and squeezes. "I'm not, but thank you. It's gonna be fine, trust me. And if there's anyone you want me to beat up or something, just give me a call", she jokes.

They both laugh, Sara waving her hands in front of her, "No, no way, I'm sick of that, to be honest."

"Hahah, figured. Really though. Call me anytime, I'm here."

"Thanks.", she repeats, and for a moment, the two just stand there, looking at each other. Both their cheeks are red, Sara's eyes wet and her makeup smudged from crying, and Mila still a little flustered, hoping it doesn't show.

Then they hear another big cheer from the audience, muffled by walls and the distance, and it doesn't die out for as long as the previous one they've heard. Michele's performance was probably over for some time, but it seems like they announced the results. Sara lights up.

"I wanna go find my brother!", she exclaims at the sound, lifting her gaze to look at Mila again, and she looks genuinely happy and relieved. "I'll join you on the bench as soon as I tell him my congrats, okay?"

"Yeah, of course. Tell him i said he was great, too"

She squeezes Mila's into both of her hands, and then she's gone, skipping down the hallway to the kiss and cry. Mila looks at her figure getting further away for a few moments, then gets going herself.

"Well fuck; thank you, God, Jesus, Satan, whoever the heck, for this score and the mini heart attack I got just now", she thinks, going up the stairs; her steps the fastest she can manage without turning them into straight up running, grinning so wide her cheeks hurt.

When she gets back, Georgi makes some comment about seeing pure love on her face, and she almost laughs.

"Maybe", she replies.


	4. Chapter 4

It's like she is everywhere after that. They run into each other in passing, exchange smiles and send each other cute messages in chat, and Sara doesn't stop her light touches, brushing her fingers over Mila's cheeks every time they're close enough to do so, tracing invisible lines over her shoulders whenever they hug. At the same time, it feels amazing and frankly terrifying, and Mila doesn't know what to make of it. She's scared of getting attached.

They're all in the hotel, waiting for the next stage of the competition, and most of them have gotten there a bit earlier, to have some free time for relaxing and going around sightseeing. Mila's been on her feet for the whole day and she's dead tired but satisfied. She doesn't really have anything better to do, so she goes to the hotel lounge.

Sara is already there; lifts up and pulls one headphone out of her ear, her purple eyes fixed straight to where Mila is as soon as she walks in. She waves.

"Mila! Come over here, I want to show you something!"

"Hm, what?"

She comes to the sofa where Sara was half-lying, leaning on her elbow before she walked by, and sits down next to her. The yellowish pillow she places herself on is soft, and Sara flings one arm over her shoulder as soon as she's settled.

"Listen, listen"

Impatiently, she gives Mila one of her tiny headphones that she's just taken out. Mila smiles and takes it; an upbeat melody of a pop song that was faintly chirping from it gets closer when she puts it into her ear, the drums getting louder and the voice more full. Mila closes her eyes.

"It's so good, isn't it?"

"Wait a bit, it hasn't even started yet!", she replies, laughing, holding the headphone to her ear so that it doesn't fall out when Sara nudges her playfully.

She swings a little bit to the beat while Mila listens; it's hard to concentrate on the song at all, when the girl next to her is so close, still moving slightly and smelling like the flowery perfume she always uses.

The song is melodic and catchy, and Mila starts moving before she can stop herself, in rhythm with Sara's swaying left and right. 

"It is, I like it a lot. What is this?"

"It's really popular in Italy right now. I can't manage to get it out of my head since I've first heard it", she confesses.

"Oh, that feeling's the worst", Mila laughs. "I'm like, brain please, I'm trying to think about something else; can you mind? But no, there it goes again-"

"True... Oh, wait. I've just realized", she pauses to look up at Mila. "Now I've infected you too! Good luck trying to get it out of your head, we're both doomed now."

"I was wrong, you're evil"

Sara grins. "Help me practice my villain laugh, I never seem to get it right"

"No way!"

Leaning her head on Sara's shoulder, she listens to the rest of the song. Sara's nails are shiny and prettily manicured, and they have tiny cherries on them, Mila notices, when she picks up her phone again to scroll through and choose from the titles that has in her playlist. When it comes to an end, she plays another one, slower; it's in Italian too and it sounds like a ballad. She relaxes a bit.

Sara is stroking Mila's bare skin under the sleeve of her black T-shirt, absentmindedly, giving her chills. She has been doing that since the moment she placed her hand around her shoulders. It's like it's on purpose, her acting like that; there's no way it isn't. Mila hopes it isn't.

"You silly girl, what are you doing with my heart", she thinks.

She sees a few other skaters with their coaches passing by. None of them seem to care or notice her and Sara, except Viktor, who she sees making small talk the rest of them, walking so close to the Japanese Yuri that the two are nearly tripping each other. He glances around, spots her immediately and gives her a wink while the others aren't looking.

She resists the urge to roll her eyes; what the hell.

 

 

After a while, Sara gets a call from her friend and has to go. She gets up, rolls her headphones up into a ball and puts them into her pocket, hugs Mila firmly and softly and kisses her cheek for goodbye. She waves at her when she's halfway down the hall, and Mila waves back.

She stays in the lounge after that, smiling to herself and reading stuff on her phone, orange juice that she got up to get at one point in one hand and her phone in another, when Yurio walks up to where she sits and plops on the couch next to her with a "Yo". She removes her legs before he sits down so that he has room.

"There you are."

"Heya. Saw Vitya a few minutes ago", she informs him. He hums, taking his phone out his skinny jeans pocket.

"What'd he say?"

"Nothing, he was just passing by. I think he knows, by the way."

"What, about you and Sara?"

"What else?" She laughs. "Fucking winked at me when he saw us sitting here and hugging. He knows, I can bet. I'm not even surprised; I swear he can like, smell anything gay from miles away from him."

"That'd explain a lot actually."

Mila snorts. "I know, right"

She stretches her legs out and sprawls them over Yurio's lap, and they stay like that, both scrolling through social media. She chuckles after seeing some post on twitter; nudges Yurio with her foot to get his attention.

"Hey kitty, seen this? There's some drama blowing up all over social media."

"Should I care? And also stop calling me that, what the fuck."

"Seems like Georgi made a sappy playlist dedicated to Anya and somehow sent it to her by accident.", she continues anyway, not waiting to hear if he's interested. "So like, Anya is sick of it so she blocks him after telling him to stay the hell away from her. But then her boyfriend noticed and started trash talking about him all over; I think he vague'd about him in his "Just fucking let it go, Elsa" post, too. Georgi isn't happy. You listening?"

He shrugs. "Yeah, no, leave me alone, I don't give a shit. How do you even send a playlist to someone by accident?"

"Right? That's what I thought; he's such a drama queen. Anyway, I looked at his account and all you can see there now are gloomy aesthetic backgrounds and lyrics plastered on them. Some Frozen quotes too, for some reason."

"Is he an idiot?", he replies, continuing to scroll through his dashboard noncommittally.

At one point, he stops the scrolling with a look of contempt; the next several seconds, he continues to glare angrily at the thing that came up, as if trying to burn it with just looking at it. Mila notices and puts her phone to the side.

"What do you look like that for?"

Yurio looks up from the phone angrily. "What?"

"Like you wanna kill someone. More than usual, I mean."

He scoffs. "Nothing much, just a really stupid selfie. He's so lame, ugh."

"Who is?", Mila leans over, but he moves the phone away from her view before she can see. "Is it Vitya?"

"Nah, he's alright. Just posting pictures of sleeping Katsudon and them holding hands, then puppies and food all the time. It's disgusting"

"Cute"

"Not cute, he makes me sick. Anyway, JJ posted a horrible selfie of him in underwear and I think I went blind a little bit just now. The guy's so obnoxious, I can't stand him."

Mila grabs the phone from his hands in a flash and near chokes on her drink when she sees the selfie. "Oh God, this is gold. Just look at the captions. "live. skate. love. fight. 2k16 #jjstyle #kingjj #canada #selfie #beautiful #ripped #exercise #gorgeousmen #sexymuscles". I can't handle this," She scrolls through the comments, giggling the whole way. "Wait a second though, you follow JJ?"

"Um, yeah? I follow all the competitors. And what the hell, give the phone back- wait, what did you-?!"

"Liked the pic for you; you're welcome."

"Fuck you, hag."

She laughs.

"It doesn't hurt to be nice, you know."

He pauses. "Are you seriously telling me this. You. The girl who's slapped a guy so hard after he called you a bitch for leaving him, that he smashed his head against the wall from the blow. Seriously."

Mila shrugs. "What can I say, people change."

He grabs the phone from her hands and unlikes the picture as soon as he gets it back. "No, they don't."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yurio has zero chill and viktors gaydar is through the roof  
> ~follow for more soft georgi~


	5. Chapter 5

 

 

"Like. Before I met her I've been fine with people saying they like me, or coming up to them and I've dated and stuff", she shrugs and traces patterns on the glass with her fingers. "I've just been... fine with it. But I didn't give a shit."

She sighs. She's turned into such a sap, it's not even funny.

"And now it's like I'm yelling 'score' every time she hugs me or kisses me, it's so stupid"

They're on the banquet after the competition, after the whole evening of celebrating. She placed second and can't stop herself from feeling elated since hearing the results, pulling friends and family into tight hugs, joining them in singing the Russian national anthem as loudly as they possibly can.

Sara placed too - she got bronze - but Mila didn't get to talk to her since. Even now, she's wandered off somewhere with Mickey on the other side of the hall, and Mila doesn't feel like just coming up to talk to her when she's clearly being ignored.

Of course, Viktor and Yuri cornered her as soon as they got the chance, asking questions about Sara left and right. She was right about Viktor; he just knows these things, damn him. Also, possibly, he asked Yurio to check.

They're so happy about hearing about it, too; standing there, excited at the thought of giving her advice.

Well, they asked for it. And anyway, it's not like they'd mind her babbling; she can't be embarrassed about being sappy in front of guys as public about romance as these two, they love this shit.

"It's like I've, dunno, landed a perfect jump in competition and I'm like, hell yeah, fireworks and shit, get ready world, here I come', she laughs. "You know?"

"Yeah, I think I know how that feels", Viktor says as he glances at Yuri. He looks at him like that all the time, like he's the most precious thing Viktor has ever layed eyes on. He's as clingy as ever, too, refusing to break contact with him even for a second, holding him by the waist, their fingers linked the whole time. She doesn't know if she should feel touched or pissed off.

"Why not just ask her in passing, though?", Viktor suggests. "Like it's not something that important."

Mila shakes her head. "I don't know. I mean, she knows im not straight but she didn't really comment on that at all. And she did call the girl from that one shitty romcom we watched hot, but that can mean anything. Partly, my plan was just to, like, get really drunk then kiss her or something. Worked for me last time."

"Please don't do that", Yuri says quickly over Viktor's half-serious "Nice", which makes her want to giggle.

"I'm just joking! Kind of. Don't wanna mess it up. It just feels weird, you know. Like I'm completely relaxed around her, and at the same time nervous as heck, I don't even know."

"Oh, I know that one", Yuri laughs. "All too well, I think."

She smiles into the glass of champagne she's been holding.

"Don't worry", he tells her, "I'm sure things will work out"

"Yeah, I hope so..."

"If you need anything, just ask.", Viktor adds.

"Thanks, you guys."

 

 

 

  
"Aren't you two already dating though?", Georgi asks her.

She scowls. What the hell.

He's been in a great mood lately, to be fair - ever since he's met the woman of his dreams, or so he's informed everyone that was willing to listen, as soon as he met her. These last few days, he said, have truly been a bliss; a smile on his face and romantic ballads on repeat coming from his speakers.

Mila is trying hard to be happy for him; she really is, but there's only a limited number of "Can't help falling in love"s stuck on a loop that she's willing to endure being exposed to. when they get back, if he plays another one, she swears-

"Nah, she's just like that", Mila sighs. "Don't make me get my hopes up. It's fun and I love spending time with her but... And I really like her, too'

"Ah, young love. I remember, being like this once..."

She punches his arm lightly. "Like you're all that old."

"You mature now more than ever in your life", he says, and she guesses that's true.  
  
She doesn't feel any different though, just about the same levels of angry and confused she's been a year ago, or two years back; still as restless and stubborn and indecisive about everything in her life up to her to decide, that she's been until now.

She looks over at the rest of the room; dressed-up people clinking glasses and exchanging polite remarks in the dimmed lights and polished floor tiles. It still feels as weird.

Mila remembers herself last year; taking pictures of the dance-off and laughing loudly, an overly excited girl that she's only just met a few days ago tugging her by the arm, commenting on every detail until her brother requested they leave.

"You're right, I suppose, but." She shrugs. "I don't feel much different, to be honest."

He smiles. "You'll see."

 

 

 

 

"Is it bad that I miss last year?", he says with a scowl, then shudders, realizing. "Never thought I'll say that, but its true."

She agrees. "Honestly. This sucks."

Yurio seems even more bored than she is. He looks like he is just waiting, or rather, hoping for any sort of disaster to happen.

And she is too; to be honest, it's as dull as it gets. The last year's banket's been a riot, but now, its just stuffy, stuck up rich people and sponsors all around, and she is infinitely uncomfortable in her red dress, carrying a too-small purse around.

Really though, she never has fun during occasions like these. She doesn't like having to act all refined and ladylike, when the sole reason that she even got to this point is her love for getting into sweatpants and croptop, and jumping and spinning as high as she can, her hair ruffled and her shirt sweaty, blades on her feet.

Yurio sighs and pulls his phone out of his suit pocket, tapping the instagram icon. She can see the selfies from tonight flooding the dashboard already, these people are so impatient-

"Oh look, most of these are just Phichit and Chris"

He pokes her shoulder and she looks at the picture he's showing her; Chris, sprawled over a table, with a red rose from one of the vases all over the banquet stuck between his teeth. She snorts.

"Oh my god"

"What do you think, how much chance do I have in getting Katsudon drunk like he was last time?", he asks, only half-serious.

"Somewhere between nyet and none; he and Vitya decided to lay off the alcohol in places like these", she laughs. She still has evidence buried somewhere in her phone. "...which only means they plan to go somewhere and get wasted after this is over, which let's be honest, is what most people here plan on doing."

"True. Not me though, I just wanna go the fuck to sleep already."

"Mm." Mila searches over the whole room with her eyes, still not catching sight of a light blue dress on tan skin.

Yurio lowers his phone and looks up from it at Mila's face. "Seriously, you're all over the place. What happened? Or are you just horny. I didn't see you talk to the Italian chick all evening-"

He suddenly stops and makes a strange expression, and just as she's preparing to snark back at him, cool hands slide over her forearms from behind. She shudders slightly and turns to look at the smaller figure that sneaked up to them without her noticing.

"Hi!", sara says with a smile. Mila mentally thanks a lot of deities and godlike creatures for having all of her conversations with Yurio be in russian.

"Hey there. I thought you were with your brother?"

She waves her hand. "Nah, Em dragged Mickey to some party a few minutes ago so I'm all alone now." She looks at Mila, straight in the eyes, and smiles.

"Wanna get out of here?"


	6. Chapter 6

"There's a tagged picture of you on my dash", she informs Sara, who leans in to look at what she is showing her. Her own phone is between them, playlist open, songs they like playing quietly through crackling speakers. 

"Oh, Phichit's selfie! I'm really not surprised."

"Figures", Mila says, "The guy was everywhere. Did you see how excited he was? Taking pictures with just about everyone he ran into, every single skater and even the coaches."

"What, really? I didn't see that!"

"...though", she laughs, "When he came up to Yakov and Lilia, he just kinda took a glance at their faces and took a full U-turn away from them without even saying anything, it was hilarious."

Sara's laughter fills the air around them, her hands resting on Mila's. 

They're sitting on the fire escape outside the rooms with one of the two bottles they took from one of the banquet tables and stuffed into Sara's purse between them, the other one emptied out. It's one of the hotel's highest floors, city view spreading huge beneath them, Christmas lights twinkling bright, less people and cars strolling through with each passing moment. It's late, but they still don't want to get up and leave, sitting there, surrounded by cold air and movements below.

Mila is a talking type of nervous, always been. That, combined with her love of gossiping, makes up for quite the combination of being loved at get-togethers and hated by everyone who can't take a joke. Sara doesn't seem to mind, at least. She places the glass she took with her on the staircase next to where she's sitting and tries to compose herself.

"Oh my God", she manages, words slipping up at times with heavy accent, R's and Oh's sharp on her tongue. "Poor Phichit. They are kinda scary, though, you have to admit."

"Right?", she says. "I mean, they're not that bad, but both their default faces are like, the body language equivalent of 'Do you have a death wish?'"

"Pff that's. Very true" Sara holds her hand over her stomach, her other one slipping from circling Mila's palm to moving around to wrap itself around her waist, staying there only to move up and down slowly.

"I can't stop laughing", she says, "and I'm not even completely drunk yet. Like, this much is nothing compared to when I go out with Mickey-" None of them are lightweights, far from it, Mila concluded earlier that night. "-but still"

"That's okay, there's still time. Better here than at the banquet, right?"

"What are you talking about, the banquet is A+ choice too, if only we had company. Last year was amazing, at least..."

"Yeah, true."

"I feel a little disappointed that tonight was so boring", she says.

"Well, that's why were here now, right", Mila replies, taking the bottle from her side of the staircase to lightly tap on Sara's glass before she lifts it to her mouth; a tiny 'Clink!" hanging in the air around them for a few moments before it disappears. "And... to be honest, I kind of like the company."

Sara smiles. "Yeah, me too." 

She looks lost in thought, for a moment or two, before she shifts her expression and continues. "I wanted to dance though; I really feel like dancing. You know?"

"What, here?", Mila asks, amused, then thinks about it. "Sure, why not"

"I'm really tipsy though. I'll probably just trip and fall right away", she chuckles.

"I'll catch you", Mila tells her without thinking.

Sara is silenced by her comment; lifts her eyes to look up at her, cheeks still flushed, her lips glossy and wide. Then she looks back down and snorts.

"Yeah, right, you'll fall on your ass too, so it doesn't count. 'Cause you're tipsy too"

"Yes, I am", Mila agrees proudly.

She wants to say something; anything to stretch this moment out, like a piece of bubblegum, longer than it is. Just a few moments more, she wishes; it's their last night together before they come back home from the competition, and it all went by a little too fast to be satisfied. Their time together always does end too quickly, but not like this. It never bothered her as much, the way it does now.

Sara takes another swing from the bottle that they nicked, the glass she initially took from her room just to be classy lying forgotten on the staircase.

"It's gotten chilly here, hasn't it?", she mentions as she puts the bottle down.

"Speak for yourself, I'm never cold", Mila jokes, feeling near invincible. She can see the skin of her arms and neck getting goosebumps from the chilly air, her dress far too light for this weather, but she barely feels the cold. Anyway, she's used to worse.

"I'm a proud, hot-blooded Russian running on vodka, nothing can make me cold. Cyka blyat"  
She sneezes.

Sara bends over her knees, her shoulders shaking with laughter, hands over her face. "You're ridiculous"

"You like me that way", she winks.

Oh God, she's turning into Vitya.

She wonders how he's doing, though. His advices are shit, but she would very much like some of them right now; if for nothing else, than just to try and calm her nerves somehow. She needs something stupid to avert her thoughts from how anxious she feels; from the way Sara's shoulder touches hers when she raises herself and leans into their shared body heat. Anything else to think about, that gets her attention away from this; heightened-sensed, intoxicated as she is.

 

"Wanna go inside and grab out jackets?", she suggests. The cold isn't fit for Sara - shes used to hot, summer sun, warmth all year long. Mila watches her wrap her thin shawl tighter around her shoulders.

"Yeah, I'd like that."

She lifts up from where she was sitting and Mila follows. 

Air rustling around her, she feels like the lights are dancing before her eyes, slowly swaying left and right in a movement that somewhat looks like a kind of dance; looking at them almost makes her want to giggle.

Sara takes her hand and starts leading the way up the metal stairs, and Mila looks at her dress swaying left and right. It looks like the ocean waves, ruffled around her knees as she climbs.

This is their last night before they go home, until who-knows-when or the next competition. 

Mila breathes in and she hates it. She hates that it's this little, Sara's presence being measured in coffee spoons, moments, a few days at a time, too little to leave her satisfied.

She wants to be brave, because something in her knows that if she isn't brave now, she might never get another chance to be. Or rather, maybe, she will, but it will be too late. She likes taking risks - all or nothing, going in - dead set on waking herself up from uncertainty, one way or another.

"Hey, can you wait a bit?", she asks, squeezing Sara's hand a little tighter, making her stop and turn.

They told her not to drink (well, at least Yuri did), but here she is, tipsy and stupid, choosing the worst possible moment, ignoring the advice, as she does.

"Hm?"

Sara's eyes are like violet marbles, Mila's reflection looking back at her from the gaze, when she turns around to look a her, with a sway of her hip and a swish of her dress.

Mila takes one step higher to her, and they're nearly at eye level now; she blinks and breathes in, holding her eyes closed, a piece of a second longer than she usually does.

"Forgot to tell you something."

Her chest burns, her cheeks are red despite of the cold, or maybe because of it, she isn't sure; and Sara's hand in hers feels like a saving rope - fuck everything, she's doing this -

"Oh, really? What is it?"

She holds on for a moment before she continues. Otabek mentioned something about using this phrase once, and she laughed, but here she is now. She hopes the guy would be proud.

"So", she smiles, "Like, you can slap me for this later or whatever, but-"

And she pulls Sara by her hand, closer to where she's standing; places her other palm gently around Sara's shoulder and lifts to the tips of her toes, going in for the kiss.

The same moment she does, though, Sara doesn't wait but leans in herself, tugging Mila by the waist, and cups her face, their lips meeting halfway.

Mila freezes. Her breath gets lost somewhere on the way to her lungs, eyes wide for a second or two; then she relaxes into the kiss and holds Sara tighter to herself.

She kisses long and intense, and she doesn't let go of the embrace; she doesn't even open her mouth but Mila feels her head spinning and she is lost, smelling sweet perfume and alcohol in their breaths, Sara's hair tickling where it falls on her collarbone.

"I thought I'd wait forever for this", Sara says quietly when they part.

Mila's heart struggles to stay inside her chest, just from how happy she is; it's like it's set on floating away in the wind, letting itself mingle with cold air and Christmas lights, tugging at her along with it, if she lets go of Sara's waist.

Sara wobbles on her heels and grips her tighter to steady herself. Then she looks at Mila's face and smiles as wide as every time she does; pulls her closer into a tightest hug yet.

"I'm so happy you feel the same, I really could dance the whole night away", she says, her nose cold against Mila's neck.

"What the hell, I thought I was obvious', Mila laughs.

"I was scared you weren't serious! You seemed to ignore me whenever I gave you hints", she pouts. "I thought I was the only one with a crush this whole time."

"Are you kidding? I've been crushing on this girl ever since she showed up, all excited and smiling, and cut my coach off in the middle of his lecture just to say hi"

Sara looks at her, wide eyed. "What, really?"

Mila nods.

"I thought", she says, "what a crazy girl"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i enjoyed writing this so much tbh
> 
> kudos to my (also very metal) friend for otabeks lame hookup advice. what is communication even  
> someone help him  
> it worked though, kind of


	7. this chapter is crack

 

aka Foodporn x Cyka Blyat's advices for N ~~atasha Romanoff on skates~~  Mila's Dating Life

 

 

  
yuri: well firstly, definitely dont get drunk. at all. however nervous you might be believe me its not worth it

 

mila: haha youd know

 

yuri: : (

 

viktor: ..i mean, you can get a little drunk. try asking her to dance with you

 

yuri: maybe learn some words in her language? im sure shed love it

 

mila: thats stupid wtf

 

yuri: i mean maybe it depends on the person. isnt that right любовь моя

 

viktor: ghsdfhghjdkfhvbd

 

mila: ...

 

yuri: never mind that. were cheering for you!

 

mila: thank youu

 

yuri: good luck, whatever you choose

 

viktor: id say bring condoms but in your case its a bit.. well

 

yuri: wait why..? ..oh

 

mila: not even gonna comment on that one

 

viktor: get friendly with her family. i mean um maybe that might be hard in your case but

 

mila: ikr. think the only reason mickey hasnt laser-eyed me to oblivion yet is that im a girl

 

yuri: shes the one thats flirting though right

 

mila: yeah but she flirts with like everyone. i dont think im special. its like the whole world has her rather than me

 

yuri: tbh i know that feeling pretty well

 

viktor: what are you talking about you are my whole world

 

yuri: dshfjdhdasjdk youre so cheesy

 

viktor: you love it

 

yuri: i do

 

mila: im single and you two get on my nerves

 

viktor: sorry, sorry. anyway where were we

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (why u so oblivious, yuri)  
> im not even sorry.
> 
>  
> 
> thank you so much for reading!  
> <3

**Author's Note:**

> the title is from 'accidentally in love' because im cheesy like that.  
> come yell/shitpost with me, im inspectorwired on tumblr


End file.
